Monday, 13 July 2009

068. My little walk

Sometimes I wonder too. What a retard :)
May 17th really was a good picture day!

So, I spent almost the entire day yesterday basically watching The Anne Frank Story on Youtube. And, really if ever you could find the time, I think this is a show one should watch. 
Let me rephrase that, have to watch. And if your not moved by it by the end of the movie, I don't know. Your amazing. 

There are very little show that can generate an emotion from me, I don't like crying or feeling vulnerable/sad/whatever, but this one somehow managed to make me a blob of mess. By Part 16 or something, I felt so much emotions bubbling inside me, it's ridiculous. I could definitely drive myself into depression. And this coming from me, it's rare.

And I am not even sure, if I was mad at Hitler, or if I was just sad at what happened. 

Thoughts went rushing through my mind, how could it be possible? It cannot be true, and above all how? why, why and why? No amount of History books can answer this. How can one be that cruel? Is there really a way to justify it?

I was so worked up that I vowed, once my voice is louder and clearer, I shall make a difference, I shall educate people, I shall make sure people never ever forget. And, if that is the last thing I do. I shall do just that. My voice is not loud enough now, and I simply don't know enough. But, one day, I am positively sure, I will make a difference.

And, as much as the Europeans are aware of what happened, it was not the same in Malaysia and I am sure many other countries as well. Could we blame them? We had other things to worry about. Hitler didn't bother us. That is why we didn't know/care. 

It is also possible that I was just ignorant and everyone else around me knew, but since there are people like me who didn't, I am quite sure there are others who still don't either. And that I want to try and change. 

It hurts me even more that I don't know what else is there to do now, but to create awareness. And, since I am still nobody, who is listening? This time around, money is not the issue. One doesn't just donate and that is it. It's the mentality and downright greed for power that caused this unbelievable nightmare! Only, in nightmares, we can actually wake up and life is normal again. 

Those 6 million people, didn't wake up. And more are going through all these every single day!

Sometimes, when conscience strike, I feel so utterly useless. Here I am thinking about what to have for dinner today? What dessert would I get? Hoping it's something I like.

How can I be so selfish? But, then what else can I do? Should I hate my life, because it really is great. Should I hate my parents? my aunt and uncle? everyone who cares for me because I have it good? Should I sit in the corner and cry forever? 

Definitely not. But what else is there to do?
I really don't know.

I suppose that is enough ramblings for today. Life is great. 
Life is really what you make it.
You can sulk and cry all day, or take that pinch of salt and enjoy today and tomorrow. 
I try and remind myself, whenever I am down. To look around, I know I have it better than many people, I have always got people who cared for me, and I am sure so does everyone reading my post right now. If ever once you think there is no one out there for you, I am always just a phone call away. 

Now, moving on. Enough gibberish talk. I would start to contradict.

"On a random note, what is the significance of today Boy?" *sniggers, inside joke. 

I usually make today a Magnar's day, but it has been 2 months in a row that we are at different corners of the world. 

My idea when we started was that we had one day that we would spend together regardless if we are free or not. But, then I realize, since we spend a lot of our time together already, what difference will today make? And the first months, we went for nice dinners and movies and etc, but now... things have just gone mellow. Though, not to be confused, I still enjoy it very much.
Why do you think I still talk to you everyday, if I weren't enjoying it?

Now just to wrap it up, should I upload really idiotic pictures of us? Because, seems like that is the only kind of pictures we have. Haha! 

Nah, I am feeling nice today. Since you called and all.
 And yes, I shall still pretend I forget why today is important. 
I am sure you would do the same too! 
Sometimes I think we are so silly, its cute. Haha! *hugs!

Maybe we will make it till next month. And then, we could do something cooler then? :)

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